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This episode is deeply personal where I talk about my flaws and insecurities and how owning them liberated me in a way.
There are some of the powerful lessons that you can learn from this episode on owning your insecurities and becoming comfortable with who you are.
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This episode is deeply personal where I talk about my flaws and insecurities and how owning them liberated me in a way. There are some of the powerful lessons that you can learn from this episode on owning your insecurities and becoming comfortable with who you are.
For the longest period, when I thought about my flaws, I’d feel that I need to fix something about myself
I needed to get my hair transplanted or get my teeth fixed
Or speak in a certain way
I had this big insecurity about myself
Everyone else seemed perfect and complete and that created a lot of self-doubts where I felt that I was becoming very under-confident
I am sure you’ve been there and felt in a similar way.
For me, It reached the point where I was almost trying to be someone else that I was not instead of pushing my authentic self out there and try and become more of myself I was trying to fit in.
I was seeking validation of the world
For instance, I was mocked in several instances for the accent I have and the way I speak as a result of that, I tried copying someone else If you listen to the first few episodes of this podcast, you would realize the tone and the voice that I was trying to use was Just not me.
All I was trying was to sound cool and I failed miserably so. Because that was not me
I just felt it was fake and it started to bother me.
And when I look back today, I realize that more and more I tried becoming myself the more people started relating with who I was.
The biggest revelation happened to me when I started having deeper conversations with people.
I’d think some of the extremely successful people I’ve had the opportunity to meet were almost perfect
They had all that I’ve ever wanted in my life
So, when I started actually having conversations the conversations beyond that first layer, the conversation that went beyond just the almost perfect life that I saw from the outside
and as they say that grass is greener on the other side where you almost feel like, everyone’s life is so perfect but yours.
And, uh when we started shredding those layers, when we started connecting deeply and started sharing our vulnerabilities when we started opening about our life, It turns out that every single person, no matter how accomplished the person or no matter whom I met and had those deep conversations had one or the other insecurities and flaws which either they are trying to hide or not very proud of and they’d feel the same way that, everyone else is perfect but them.
And that was such a big realization for me
I realized I was not alone
Most of us are trying to hide our flaws instead of talking about them openly and honestly, that is a very tough thing to do it can only happen when you begin with the acceptance.
More and more, the deeper, Meaningful conversations I had with people I realized that each of us has flaws
And feel the same at the core. No matter what image we try to portray out to the world
some of us might not be as good looking by society’s standard
Some of us have flawed communication skills
I do have this flawed accent, for the longest time felt bad about it, I struggled to have conversations with people, and I felt really bad about that.
I never had this muscular body even though I was physically fine and I started feeling really bad about my own body and physical appearance.
I’m losing my hair and not a single day went by when people didn’t make me feel bad about it.. Till the moment, I realized that none of us is perfect.
When that realization happened, I went from the place where I was feeling bad about my flaws Almost hating myself to the point where I was like Yeah, these are my flaws and moved to the place of acceptance
And, once that’s Started happening a lot of things started changing because I started owning them when I started owning my flaws and accepted them as a part of me Things started changing.
This whole process of owning my flaws taught me some really powerful lessons that I’d like to talk about next
So, the first lesson that I learned is Self-Acceptance yes that’s true.
When I started acknowledging the fact that every person I met had their own set of flaws I started feeling more comfortable with who I was.
I knew that,
Some of us wanted to be better looking, more popular or have deeper wisdom or maybe more spiritually evolved or have the better emotional strength or better relationships or heal from the past trauma and so on
This is when I realized, we all are broken people. Full of flaws Just different kinds Some of us have internal flaws and some of us have external ones
And when that understanding came about, that took away, the pressure from me to impress other people.
And its okay
because uh I know that even though you appear as perfect being in front of me, you have your insecurities and flaws and it’s just the matter of getting into that one-layer deep conversation with you.
All of a sudden, I felt no need to appear as someone else I felt I don’t have to try and fit in
And I can just be me with my own set of flaws
When I started embracing my set of flaws it not only helped me in regaining my self-esteem but also with my self-acceptance
And when self-acceptance started kicking in, no one else’s opinion about me, mattered it all And trust me it was not easy it took me a lot of time to build that Shield and is still a work in progress but definitely worth it
Every single flaw that I have is part of me. And when I operate from that place It makes my life much easier.
That was the first lesson. Self-Acceptance.
The second lesson I learned by embracing my flaws is Humility.
This is the big one. You are humble when you feel that you are no better than another person.
When I am aware that we all have either physical, emotional, spiritual or social flaws and when I know that I have them too then there is no question of feeling superior to another human being.
So when you embrace and accept your flaws, you are moving more towards humility from arrogance instead of saying that hey, you know what? I am this or I am that. And trying to just think from the perspective of your superpowers. You start thinking that hey, you know what? I’m not a complete person either. No one else is and when you operate from the mindset that no, I’m not complete and nobody and no one else is complete that for me it’s a grounding exercise.
Every single time when my brain tries to tell me that, I’m better than someone else then, this thought kicks in and I get reminded that I’m not complete either
I think Humility is a really, really powerful lesson that I have learnt by embracing my flaws.
The third lesson I’d like to share is Empathy.
Once I acknowledged my insecurities, I started being kinder to myself. My self-talk changed completely.
Empathy is the ability to see things from someone else’s perspective. And my flaws taught me to do exactly that
Instead of passing judgment to someone for their flaws, I am willing to understand their part of the story.
Because I want people to know my story before they pass the judgement on my flaws.
We all do not come from the same background and same opportunities. And how can I pass judgement on someone without knowing their story?
Last week, some stranger wrote a horrible thing on my social media What did I do? Tell myself, You can write whatever you want you don’t know my story.
This reminds me to show up to the world with kindness and love. If it’s okay for me to have my flaws I understand that it’s okay for you too.
And the last lesson, I’d like to leave you with is to remain Happy.
Why happy you may wonder.
When you face your insecurities and own your flaws you become happy. Because you don’t feel the need to fit in and become someone else and that liberates you so that you can become your truest authentic self.
Every single day, I try and become my truest self everywhere I show up be it at my work, at home, in the public or even this podcast
This makes my life so much easier.
I don’t have to act as if I am a smart person in this podcast I can ask silly, dumb questions.
I don’t have to act as a leader who has all the answers I can tell my team that, guys I don’t know how to do this.
I don’t have to hide my emotions or show that I am emotionally strong when I am not.
I can be me
I am not in the game to appease anyone instead, I am here to be me and I can do that best. No one can beat me there.
And, I don’t have to take my life too seriously. I can laugh some of my flaws off
I can make fun of the hair I am losing, the accent I have or the body I have.
When I can do that without feeling bad about it I know I have made my peace with my insecurities and I am not ashamed of it anymore
And I can laugh about it Self-deprecating humour by the way helps us build more positive relationships with others.
When you make a joke about yourself you are creating space for someone to also open up about their flaws and laugh together about it.
Those were some of the lessons that I have learned from the flaws and Insecurities that I have.
I hope that was of some value to you. I’d love to know from you what is the lesson that you have learned from owning your flaws by owning the mistakes that you might have made or accepting yourself for who you are
And how that might have probably helped you in your life. You can record your thoughts and share a voice message with me. At Theinspiringtalk.com/speak. That is theinspiringtalk.com / speak.
Thank you so much for listening. I’ll uh see in the next. Now go out there and do something inspiring.
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